I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life.
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right.
As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat,
This wind is blowin' my mind.
I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat.
Who am I to be blind? Pretending not to see their need.
I summer's disregard; a broken bottle top; and a one man's soul.
They follow each other on the wind ya know,
'Cause they got nowhere to go.
That's why I want you to know...
I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and make a change...
I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love; it's time that I realize.
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan.
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?
A willow deeply scarred; somebody's broken heart,
And a washed-out dream.
They follow the patter of the wind ya see
'Cause they got no place to be.
That's why I'm starting with me...
I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and make a change...
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." -1 Corinthians 13:12
So, this ended up being our theme song for this adventure to Thailand. Seriously. Almost every live band we heard over there ended up doing some kind of version of this song. We would catch ourselves humming it sometimes, and just embracing our inner MJ and belting it out together at others. Every morning, I'd listen to it on the skytrain on the way to work...and every van ride, taxi ride, plane ride... It's perfect. Ya know, I'm not the same person I was when I left home 2 months ago and flew around the world. I'm different; I'm changed. My eyes have been opened to so many ideas, cultures, people, and worldviews...and they've been jaded by harsh realities as well. I'd like to think that I've changed for the better. God has really been working on me and showing me things about myself I've never noticed before. It's going to be so weird coming back to quaint little Cleveland, TN. The person I was when I left was so content just settling down and staying there for the rest of my life. Though that dream remains hidden somewhere deep in my heart, I feel like the person I am today isn't satisfied with such a life, right now at least. I'm discontent just thinking about it. Perhaps moving to Bangkok in May would be a good idea. There are so many reasons to go, yet so many reasons to stay. I automatically see it as a lose/lose situation, but really, it's a win/win. (Optimism, not rationalism.) I've grown accustomed to God closing doors and narrowing down my options, but I think I've realized that He's leaving this one up to me. Which completely sucks, but thanks for the free will, God. I don't know what I'll end up doing, but I'm going to do whatever I decide with full confidence, knowing that I'm smack in the middle of the Lord's will. But for now, I'm going to take it one day at a time. And today's task is my return to Cleveland, to a life of intramurals, bonfires, card games, and Mexican restaurants. I already feel so out of place. And the stomach butterflies are already stirring...
I don't expect everyone to understand me. I just hope you can see the change in me...the same change I see when I stare at the "Man in the Mirror." So bring it on Cleveland, TN. Cwalk's back.
Hope all you amazing people enjoyed my blog. I'll still post stuff, but it won't be near as exciting as tigers, Australians, or cute little Thai kids. Maybe I'll pick up where I left off in May...
I'm out.
Cwalk.
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