Day 49: Man in the Mirror.

In the words of the great Michael Jackson...

I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life.
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right.
As I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat,
This wind is blowin' my mind.
I see the kids in the street with not enough to eat.
Who am I to be blind? Pretending not to see their need.
I summer's disregard; a broken bottle top; and a one man's soul.
They follow each other on the wind ya know,
'Cause they got nowhere to go.
That's why I want you to know...

I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and make a change...

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love; it's time that I realize.
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan.
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?
A willow deeply scarred; somebody's broken heart,
And a washed-out dream.
They follow the patter of the wind ya see
'Cause they got no place to be.
That's why I'm starting with me...

I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror.
I'm asking him to change his ways.
And no message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and make a change...

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." -1 Corinthians 13:12

So, this ended up being our theme song for this adventure to Thailand. Seriously. Almost every live band we heard over there ended up doing some kind of version of this song. We would catch ourselves humming it sometimes, and just embracing our inner MJ and belting it out together at others. Every morning, I'd listen to it on the skytrain on the way to work...and every van ride, taxi ride, plane ride... It's perfect. Ya know, I'm not the same person I was when I left home 2 months ago and flew around the world. I'm different; I'm changed. My eyes have been opened to so many ideas, cultures, people, and worldviews...and they've been jaded by harsh realities as well. I'd like to think that I've changed for the better. God has really been working on me and showing me things about myself I've never noticed before. It's going to be so weird coming back to quaint little Cleveland, TN. The person I was when I left was so content just settling down and staying there for the rest of my life. Though that dream remains hidden somewhere deep in my heart, I feel like the person I am today isn't satisfied with such a life, right now at least. I'm discontent just thinking about it. Perhaps moving to Bangkok in May would be a good idea. There are so many reasons to go, yet so many reasons to stay. I automatically see it as a lose/lose situation, but really, it's a win/win. (Optimism, not rationalism.) I've grown accustomed to God closing doors and narrowing down my options, but I think I've realized that He's leaving this one up to me. Which completely sucks, but thanks for the free will, God. I don't know what I'll end up doing, but I'm going to do whatever I decide with full confidence, knowing that I'm smack in the middle of the Lord's will. But for now, I'm going to take it one day at a time. And today's task is my return to Cleveland, to a life of intramurals, bonfires, card games, and Mexican restaurants. I already feel so out of place. And the stomach butterflies are already stirring...

I don't expect everyone to understand me. I just hope you can see the change in me...the same change I see when I stare at the "Man in the Mirror." So bring it on Cleveland, TN. Cwalk's back.

Hope all you amazing people enjoyed my blog. I'll still post stuff, but it won't be near as exciting as tigers, Australians, or cute little Thai kids. Maybe I'll pick up where I left off in May...

I'm out.
Cwalk.

Day 48: The Return.

Well, we had to check out of the YMCA at noon...and our flight didn't leave until 10:30pm. AKA: We were loaded down with luggage, and no where to go. So, we piled in a turbo tuk and headed for the Airport Plaza Mall. (Where we searched for 3 hours the other day looking for a dang nail salon.) We had about 8 hours to kill, so we parked it at the food court and tried out the "cow-man-guy." Of course it wasn't as delish as the one at Paragon, but it was alright. We had our last sticky rice and mango, too. So tragic..everything today was "our last ___." Ugh. I don't even care that I whined all day long about going home. I would seriously be content getting off the plane in Atlanta, hugging my parents and seeing them, and then hopping right back on the next flight to Bangkok. Today was for sure a "Heck yes, I'm moving back in May" kinda day. (Allison was delighted to hear that. Haha.) So anyway, after the food court, we decided to catch a movie; such a good way to waste 2-3 hours of our dead time. So, we lugged all of our bags and backpacks and lives into the movie theatre, plopped it all down in front of us, and enjoyed "Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief." It was a cute movie for sure, and I'm glad we saw it. After that we got our "last massage." Now that was something to cry about! It's for sure going to suck not being able to have that luxury when I get home. My body is going to go into shock or something. Any volunteers for Thai massage lessons? Haha. We finally made our way to the airport, and we ended up sitting there for a good 3 hours. Long, boring day for sure. But, I had plenty of time to catch up to my "Read the Bible in a Year" schedule. Mission accomplished! :) It's cute how Allison and I are reading the same parts of the Bible so we can discuss everything. That must continue when we get home. So yeah, that's about the extent of my day...nothing much else to say or look forward to unless you think hanging out in an airport for 7 hours is awesome.

(Only Allison will understand these, but I have to document for future reference. Haha.)

Top 10 Quotes:
1. "Yaaaaaay..."
2. "SUM NA NA..."
3. "BANGKOK #@!$%^&..."
4. "This bird..."
5. "I make a motion we have 5 minutes of silence..."
6. "Oh really?!"
7. "Are we taking the lift?"
8. "I know you want me...you know I want ya..."
9. "But have you ever seen Graceland? Now THAT is sumthin' to see..."
10. "Ratatoui?"

Top 10 Haha's:
1. Chiang Rai flight?
2. Old Aussie.
3. Mirrors & squatty potties.
4. "Bangkok roaches"
5. Swimming at Koh Sumet.
6. Hair evolution.
7. Takin' over Volk.
8. Keep walkin'...
9. Stamping the passport.
10. 7eleven? Must be heaven.

I'm out.
Cwalk.

Day 47: Lions and Tigers and Elephants...OH MY!

So today was our last full day in Thailand...UGH! I hate that, but when life gives you lemons...throw it in some sweet tea and drink it up.

Lions and tigers and elephants...OH MY! Ok, that was a little cheesy. Haha. So...best thing about today: I HUNG OUT WITH A TIGER!!! Oh yes I did. It was waaaay cooler than the elephants yesterday, too! We got to go in a tiger pen for 15 minutes and take pictures and pet 3 different tigers. We swore up and down they were sedated but the trainers told us that they're just cats, and cats sleep 18 hours a day. *lightbulb* Oh yeah...they do. So that was freaking amazing! There's nothing like signing a waiver not to sue if you die when you enter a tiger's pen...and living to tell the tale! Haha. Ok just kidding...but not really. The tigers' names were Meatball, Spicy Sauce, and I can't remember the 3rd one's name. Ahh it was so cool. Have you ever spooned with a tiger? I have.

We finally found Happy Nails today...or was it Smile Nails...oh of course it was Nice Nails ("How could you forget?!?!" says Allison Webb). I got my hands and feet taken care of so I feel a little cuter today. At one point, I had 4 people working on me simultaneously. How crazy is that? At least manis/pedis in Chiang Mai are way cheaper than Bangkok. And the owner of the place (who knows Heidi and Debbie) was such a sweetheart. She even gave us a ride home afterward because we for sure walked almost an hour to find the stupid shop.

After nails and tigers, we went straight to the night bazaar, even though it was only about 4:00. So, clearly the only thing we could find to do to kill some time before dinner and shopping was....a massage. (So sad...last one of the trip.) We opted for a half-foot, half-head massage, 30 minutes each. Aaaaand of course it was amazing! However, it is just so inconvenient that I am peeling from literally head to toe. Thanks sun and hard water of Thailand. The big joke around here is that I'm molting like a freaking parrot or shedding like a snake...haha. Ok, that's kind of disgusting...I think I'm gonna stop talking about that now.

So we had dinner (fried rice with chicken and pineapple...yumo!) and by the time we were finished, the night bazaar was just beginning. First thing we bought? MC Hammer pants. Allison and I have seriously been trying to buy some since we got here, and none have fit us (thanks thunder thighs), but we finally found some! She got the purple ones; I got the black ones. We look like morons, but if we act like we look hot, maybe people will believe us. (That's our rationalization anyway...but remember, it's not rationalizing, it's being optimistic!) Anyway, I bought a few last-minute souvenirs, ran out of money, made one last ATM visit, and bought a few more.

After a much needed 7-eleven trip to get junk food, here we are, sitting in our YMCA hotel room. We're putting of packing until the morning, and we're fixing to push our beds together to cuddle (no homo) and watch The Hangover. Alyse has never seen it and that's pretty much all Allison and I quote, so we're pulling her into the loop. Haha.

On a final note, here's my list of Top 10 Most Unreal Things About Thailand. They're in no particular order because I'm not really in an ordinal kind of mood right now. So here you have it...

1. red light / green light timers
2. the art of eating with a spoon and fork
3. noodle stands
4. "sum na na"
5. Thai hospitality & peer pressure
6. $3 massages
7. lady boys
8. 7elevens (must be heaven!)
9. markets markets everywhere...
10. motorbikes

Well, here's to ya Chiang Mai...thanks for the good times with the elephants and tigers.

I'm out.
Cwalk.

Day 46: Take a good, hard look at our...ELEPHANT!!!

So today was unreal. I RODE AN ELEPHANT!!!! Ok...so random geeky fact: Did you know that you can tell the difference between an African elephant and an Asian elephant by looking at their ears? Oh...yes you can. African elephants' ears are bigger because it's hotter in Africa so they have to fan themselves more...so Asian elephants' ears are smaller because it's cooler in Asia. See...now you learned something today. And when I saw "cooler in Asia" don't even think I'm talkin' for real cool. It was in the 90s today...hot and humid. Oh, but Allison felt the need to wear a scarf. Much like every other day on our wonderful Thailand adventure. I, being the amazing, honest friend that I am, made fun of her every time...scarfs in 90 degree weather? I don't care how cute you look, that's retarded. It's a good thing I'm not the one who shaved my head because I'm perfectly okay wearing t-shirts and gym shorts everyday, so I really would look like a dude. Allison, on the other hand, rocks cute dresses every single day. More power to ya Big Al. :)

So anyway...we went to the Maesa Elephant Camp today and got to finally experience the riding of elephants. Now we can officially say we've experienced Thailand right? Haha. (That's for you Cortney! You're drawing of me in Thailand came true!) Allison and I got to ride on the same elephant, who was 22 years old, and we had a blast! We videoed ourselves rapping our own version of "I'm on an elephant!" It's one of those things that you just gotta be there so I don't expect any of you to be laughing right now...but just wait til you see our videos. So not only did we ride elephants, we also got to watch them perform in a show! (Haha...I was seriously like a 5 year old at Disney World today, hopping and skipping around singing random songs in my joyful bliss.) So in the elephant show, they play football (soccer), gave their trainers massages, threw darts, sat down and rolled over like dogs, and even painted with their trunks!!!! It was so cool! Elephants have such personalities...and they've gotta be so freaking smart! I don't even know how they painted some of that stuff (see picture). Too bad each painting was $60 or I would have bought one for sure. But no...I'm runnin' on empty in my last week in Thailand.

Oh BT-dub, we saw an elephant doing #1 and #2 simultaneously today...that was interesting. Just had to throw that in the blog so I can look back on it and laugh. I won't post the picture...because I for sure took one. (Have to document everything you know. lol) And the elephant that was walking in front of ours on the riding path, totally farted for like 30 seconds. Allison and I almost fell off our own elephant laughing! And yes, we're completely aware that we're 3rd graders at heart. Haha. It was too funny.

Well, we probably paid $20 in taxis alone today. We went on a wild goose chase trying to find this stupid manicure place called "Nice Nails." I swear if I hear that name one more time I might hit someone. So...after 3 hours of pointless searching, 2 Dairy Queen blizzards, a large McDonald's fry, and countless "5 minutes of silence" later...I still have nasty ghetto nails that need to be did on the ASAP. So yeah...Point #1: We're in freaking ASIA...why are there no nail places anywhere? Point #2: Maybe I do have a bad habit of eating too much when I get pissed or frustrated. Point #3: Escaping to my happy place doesn't always work. Point #4: I'm for sure a fan of "I make a motion we implement the 5 minute of silence rule....go." (Epsilon, try that one time and see what happens...it'll do ya good.)

So I would also like to say that Allison and I are the same person...and she is my valentine, especially now that she has no hair. Haha. Oh Valentine's Day...yes, we saw the movie today. That was about the only good part about getting lost in Chiang Mai and not finding a nail salon...we somehow found the Cinema and thank the Lord it was playing. So about that movie...it was kinda depressing, I'm not gonna lie. For such an allstar cast, I was rather disappointed. And um...Bradley Cooper NEVER should be gay...not even in a movie. That's just wrong. (Sorry if that spoiled the surprise for any of you...my bad.) But I might have teared up toward the end...it was cute. Best line in the movie--"Those 3 words we all long to hear..........let's get naked." WHAAAAT?! Hahahaha...too funny. Ok ok ok...anyway...

So it's like 1am and I don't know why, but I'm wired. I seriously just danced around our hotel room with a microphone waterbottle singing songs from the Goofy Movie soundtrack at the top of my lungs, while Allison and Alyse attempted to have the most inconvenient serious conversation ever. In my own little world.......don't even care right now.

I blame myself for being taught PATIENCE. Oh, yes I do. I brought this on myself...so no complaints. None right now at least. Ok...I'm gonna go now. One more day in Thailand...(sigh). That just sucks.

I'm out.
Cwalk.

Day 45: Will you be my...Chinese person?

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Well, Chinese New Year that is. I’m just sayin’, we didn’t get to celebrate OUR New Year because we were on a plane, so why not jump on that Asian bandwagon and celebrate now? Aaaand…who really likes Valentine’s Day anyway? Not this girl. Boyfriend or not, that holiday was made up by card companies to make bank…period. But that’s a whole ‘nuther soapbox that I’m not even tryin’ to step up on right now.

We went to the worship service at River of Life today, and that was awesome. The kids led their songs that they'd been practicing all week, and they sounded awesome. I ended up singing "Worthy is the Lamb" and that was a little outside my comfort zone. Normally, I'm pretty stoked about that kinda stuff, but it's been way too long. I've decided that I need to learn how to play piano (well) so I can do whatever on the spot. I hate relying on what other people know how to play; it stresses me out. But either way, the Lord blessed it and it was so good. Pat's message was about optimism and pessimism. AKA: Our trip in a nutshell. From day 1 in Thailand, Allison and I have fought pessimism tooth and nail, and it's worked out beautifully and made for an amazing trip! For every positive, there's a negative...and Pat for sure quoted one of our "positives" for sure. "Sure, you may have diarrhea and be throwing up, but you're losing weight!" HAHAHA. Too perfect. So yeah, good service for sure. I loved every bit of it.

So anyway, I had to say goodbye to Chiang Rai today…not fun. I would be perfectly fine staying there for the duration of our trip, but those elephants in Chiang Mai are calling my name. So, after saying goodbye to all the kids at River of Life, we hopped in the back of the truck and headed for the bus station. Mateo went with us, so that made me really happy. He’s my dude for sure. Bless him. Allison and I made funny “Chiang Rai misses you” videos for some of you guys back home…you know, the elite. We’re kinda ridiculous, but we crack ourselves up and keep ourselves entertained, so it’s ok.

The 3 hour bus ride to Chiang Mai wasn’t bad at all, minus the fact that the dude sitting next to me smelled like straight up CRAP. Other than that, I loved poppin’ the iPod in and staring aimlessly out the window at the beautiful mountains and picture perfect landscape. God for sure did work when he designed Thailand. Kudos God. So, 3 hours, a Thai hunny bun thing, a bottle of water, and non-stop crap-smelling later…we arrived safely in Chiang Mai. We successfully got a ride to the YMCA in a red turbo-tuk (the big red tuk tuks…I can’t ever remember the official name for them so I just make up my own) without getting jipped by the locals because we’re 3 white girls. We know the ropes now Thai people…don’t mess. Ain’t even tryin’ to play.

So in honor of Chinese New Year and Alyse’s 22nd birthday, we hit up the night walking market, spent lots of money on you people back home, and ended up treating ourselves to Mexican food and the old faithful 9 baht McDonald’s ice cream cone. Now THAT’S the life. By the way, I have to say that while we were eating at the Mexican restaurant, this group of white people (probably Aussies...just a guess) kept looking at us. And when I say "looking at us" I don't mean just "hey what's up" kinda looking at our table. They were like "Awww...look at them" kinda looking at us. After they left, we were discussing why they acted that way...and I came to the profound conclusion that they totally thought that Allison had cancer because she was bald...and we were out for her last meal or something! Haha. (So this is Allison's picture to commemorate that one...)

I’m also proud to say that I’m getting better at the bargaining at the markets. I sucked for real when I first started, but now I’m hardcore. I’ll walk away before I pay more than I want...so take THAT. Haha. So I got some pretty sweet deals tonight…can’t wait to haul it all home and get charged those wonderful overweight luggage fees, but it’s so worth it.

Well wonderful people, I'm going to go to bed and cuddle with Allison. We're sharing a twin bed for the last 3 days to save money. Haha...whatever works.

Love you all. See ya THIS WEEK!

I'm out.
Cwalk.

Day 44: Lang Lang...Bad Choice.

Well, the sickness continued on into today. Bonk. It was slightly miserable, but I tried to suck it up and not whine too much. Alyse and Allison convinced me to get out of bed and eat breakfast around 11am (haha), and then we walked about 20 minutes down the road to the Hot Springs area. (The swan statue was outside of the resort, so of course Allison and I had to represent Epsilon.) We got a Thai massage for only 100 baht ($3)!!!! The woman was going way too easy on me at first so I said "lang lang" which means "harder"...bad choice. The rest of the massage was way rough, and I forgot the word for "softer/easier" so I just endured it. I probably have bruises from that one. Haha. Maybe I should have gone with the easy massage especially since I was sick...ehh, live and learn. We opted out of getting in the hot springs because none of us really wanted to walk back home soaked. I'm just glad I got to get out and about for a while...I can't believe I've been fine this whole trip and when we get our holiday to Chiang Rai/Mai, I start getting sick.

So the kids had praise and worship practice again today. I love listening to them sing all their songs in English and Thai. They had the lyrics up on the screen today so we could sing along with the Thai songs, too. That was pretty fun. Mateo was having a blast as usual, and he pulled up a chair and sat by me. (Gosh I love him!) After everyone was through practicing and dispersed to do their own things, Mateo kept saying something to me. He was speaking Thai as if I could understand a word he was saying, but somehow though supplemental hand motions, I figured out that he was trying to get me to go up on stage and sing a song for him. (Aww...) So I walked up to the stage with him and he was trying to get me to get a microphone and everything to sing, but I told him that he'd have to wait until tomorrow. (I'm singing in the worship service evidently.) Then, he drug Allison up on stage and handed her a guitar. She acted like she knew what she was doing, and all 3 of us sang the chorus to "Blessed Be Your Name." I'm sure it sounded hideous, but it was so cute. Mateo never fails to make my day.

Tonight we went to the Chiang Rai night walking market. That was pretty fun, though I'm not a happy shopper. I did end up buying more than Allison (which is a first), so I'm pretty proud of myself. I got a few souvenirs, but honestly guys, if I don't bring you back something, please don't hate me...I'm not really one to waste my money on trinkets that will end up in your yard sale someday. Just sayin... So since it's almost Chinese New Years and Valentines Day, the market was insane tonight! It was packed out with people, and at times I was slightly claustrophobic. We ate far too much street food tonight too...banana pancakes, noodles, donuts, fries, etc. (My rationalization: I didn't eat a lot today when I felt like crap, so I was hungry. Haha!) So anyway, there was this band playing and this little area to dance...so of course Allison and I jumped on that! Alyse is a little more reserved than we are, so she was a good purse holder and picture taker. Haha. We did some sort of Thai line dancing thing, and it was a lot of fun for sure. You only live once right!?

So here I am, laying in bed, trying to convince myself that my stomach feels awesome, and that I need to go to sleep. I don't want to leave Chiang Rai tomorrow at all, and I'd be perfectly content staying here until I fly home on Wednesday. There's so much more that I want to see and do here, but I haven't gotten the chance either because I've felt like crap or the lack of transportation to and from. If only I had more time...I want to hang out with the kids here and really get to know them. It almost feels pointless to try when we only have such a tiny amount of time...why would anyone want to open up to us when we're only here for 5 days? It's sad. I have to come back to this place, to these kids. I almost feel retarded saying that because I know everyone says that, especially in situations like this. But I don't say it lightly at all. I have my boys in Honduras that I visit regularly...but there's for sure room in my heart for a few more kids.

I still think it's so crazy how I'm here right now, in the same place where so many of you guys back home have been. It's cool to think how God works things out...especially in His timing. A lot of the time, His plan is so blurry and vague, but there's always a method in the madness. I'm so excited to know that I will be able to come home and share my experiences with people who have also been there, done that. It's a relief to know that you will understand... My biggest fear about coming to Thailand was returning home and feeling isolated and friendless, with nobody who really "gets" me. Please know that God is already using you to calm my (irrational) fears...

Well guys, I'm going to bed. See ya Chiang Rai. Until next time...and there will be a next time...

I'm out.
Cwalk.

Day 43: Giving up my dreams for HIS.

Well, so much for the waterfall and temple. I woke up feeling sick this morning, so after we ate breakfast, I decided to just sit that one out and chill at home today. It's all good though, because I got some rest and had a chance to just be alone. I read a lot today, so I'm almost finished with Genesis...now I just gotta get through Exodus and I'll be back on track. I really enjoyed just sitting outside on a bench, pondering life with Tractor and Sammy, the two adorable dogs who live here. Tractor is a golden retriever who is slightly obsessed with well, retrieving. He will seriously play fetch all day long. (That's him in the picture.) And Sammy is a black retriever, and we've concluded that he has short-term memory loss because he barks at us every morning like he forgot that we were friends the day before. Haha.

Since I ended up not going with Allison and Alyse to the waterfall today, I was really hoping that I'd be able to see Siam today when I went with Samsot (I think that's his name) to pick the kids up from school. That didn't happen though, because he had already left by the time we arrived at the school. (Sorry Caleb.) :( But all the kids looked cute in their little scout uniforms, and some of them even had face paint and stuff on so they were quite a sight to see. They are beginning to be more comfortable around us now, so I'm really excited about that. They're starting to joke around and hug us and stuff. The first few days were sort of awkward because everyone was too shy, but now it's great. I love to hear them say my name...It's way cute to hear it when I'm on the other side of the propery or something because my heart just smiles and I think, "Aww...they love me!" :)

The picture to the right is just a hut off the road on the way to the kids' school. I'm glad I'm getting to see real Thai culture here in a smaller town. That's definitely something I was missing in the big city.

So Mateo is my dude. (That's me with him in that picture up there.) This morning when we woke up and walked outside, he was raking some leaves. I yelled "good morning" to him, and he smiled and walked right up to me, handed me the rake, and motioned for me to start raking. Haha. Well, ok Mateo. So I raked a row of leaves and handed the rake back...Haha. Every time he sees me now, he gives me a hug or high five. Gosh I love him. While the girls and I were chillin in the room before dinner tonight, we looked at the River of Life website and read some of the kids stories...talk about breakin' your heart! (http://www.patdebthailand.org/ourchildren.htm) It's like I see these kids in a different light now, and it's even more awesome how far they've come from where they've been. Debbie and Pat are truly amazing people, and I love it how God's used them to minister to so many young lives.

We ate green curry for dinner tonight...that was a first. I've had in my mind that curry is disgusting, but it honestly wasn't that bad. If my stomach had actually been feeling healthy today I would have eaten the junk outta that stuff, but I ate light since I wasn't sure how my stomach would react. We also ate some kind of Danish dessert afterward, since the other guests from Denmark were leaving tonight. That was interesting. Haha. After saying goodbye to the Denmark folks, we watched "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" with Fern, Not, and Done.

The picture to the left is of Acheep...that boy can win your heart in a minute. Tractor found a baby bird and thought it was an brilliant idea to play with it, so Acheep rescued the poor thing and built a ghetto birdcage/nest for it. He was so proud.

So while I was pondering life today, I came across Jeremiah 29:11-13. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" A lot of times we just stop after verse 11, but my mom's been quoting verse 13 to me recently so I just went ahead and read on to that. I feel like this verse goes hand in hand with my favorite verse - Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Any way you look at it, if God is our number one priority, all other things that pale in comparison should (and will) fall into place. Though I have my own desires, thoughts, and dreams...I want to be walking so closely hand in hand with God that His desires, thoughts, and dreams for me become my own. In my Bible, I wrote down a quote from some conference next to that verse..."God's saying, 'You can't discover my dream until you get over yourself and leg go of your own dream.'" I feel like that might be good advice for the place I'm in right now, deciding where to go after graduation...Bangkok or Cleveland. I don't really know what else to think or say, I just know that my thoughts are heading in the right direction...I think.

Well guys, I'm gonna go throw up now. Haha. But don't you worry about me...I'll be fine. The positive is, I'm losing weight! :) I weighed today and I've lost about 10 pounds. Yep, I'll take it. Haha. Love yall...this time next week, I'll be hanging out with all of you amazing people in good ol' Cleveland.

I'm out.
Cwalk.